getting contemplative when a new year begins
Reflections on 2025 and predictions for 2026
This was an Instagram-post last week, but I think it needs to be on the Substack as well. If this space isn’t made for my narcissist musings, then what is?
The list of 2025
Meme of the year: capturing my propaganda in one image
My favorite book of the year: The Silver Book by Olivia Laing. I’ve read a lot of great books in 2025 so it was a hard decision, but I loved escaping to the queer seventies in Italy. Glamorous, sexy and noir: just how I like it.
Antipatriarchal purchase of the year: Opera gloves by Dries Van Noten. Instantly foxy, terribly confusing and unfortunately very impractical. I thought I would wear them to spice up some old jackets and shirts, but I’ve been mostly wearing them in front of a mirror until I got frustrated with not being able to use my hands and how long it takes to take them off and on.
Shoe of the year: Bally woven, burgundy miracles. Found them for almost nothing on Vinted. I’ve been living on THOSE Dries sneakers, but these have sparked so much joy.
Achievement of the year: Writing and publishing a book. Even if it’s not my chef d’oeuvre (I hope at least) it has been thrilling to have a story out in the world. There are rumors it will be the new Heated Rivalry now that I started the rumor.
Favorite trip: Rome, don’t tell Paris I said this.
Plot twist of the year: Becoming a trainer at We are queer. Me? The chubby kid that dreaded going to gymclass? Well, yes.
Tradwife activity of the year: Remove pilling from wool sweaters with my fabric shaver. I’ve actually spent the last 48 hours doing just this.
Trend of the year: The performative male. I didn’t talk about it in the sub because I didn’t know what to think about it. I still don’t. I get how annoying or even toxic it can be to have men pretending to like feminist literature, planning me-time and dressing a certain way to attract women. If that’s not the goal, then I can only encourage that behavior.
Most read newsletter post: A man isn’t applying for applying for Anna Wintour’s old job. It’s one of my most personal texts. I wrote it down in hours and posted without thinking too much about it. It sparked most conversations with both strangers and people I know. I guess I will have to be more intuitive going forward, as if I haven’t been telling myself that every day since I can remember.
Thanks for putting up with me! I probably will get more tiresome in 202.
Predictions for 2026
David Dowie will make a comeback. Of course he has never really left the collective memory, but I feel there will be more buzz around him. This month it’s 10 year since his death and his music and esthetic are due for a hard relaunch. Maybe a biopic will be announced? Will his music be used in a hit series? Who knows.
A man isn’t is going to continue just fine. Whether you like what I do, hate it, or more likely ignore it: there are readers. It’s not heaps, but that was also never the goal. I want to write what I would like to read and that’s a struggle in and of itself. What I enjoy most is the conversations I have after each post, however uncomfortable they can make me feel, so keep them coming!
I shall finally find the perfect pair of black trousers. Preferably vintage but somehow still easy to replace when I undoubtedly ruin them by biking everywhere.
The manosphere finally realizes they are perhaps right about there being a crisis of masculinity, but not in the way they think and that it definitely won’t be solved with the solutions they think of. This is more of a wish than a prediction.
A new literary genre will take over. Out with romantasy, historic retellings and niche sub-subgenres like cowboy or hockey romance, in with something completely new. I don’t know what exactly, because I would be writing it if I did and become filthy rich.
I will be more happy with my body. I talked about it a bit yesterday with my plot twist of 2025 of becoming a trainer. I never thought I would be into exercise and even less so appreciate my body even a little bit. I’m quite happy at the moment, wearing what I want and feeling good and healthy. I think this can only get better this year.
Linked to that, I’m afraid I will have to be a lot more open. I always told myself it’s chic to be closed off and private, but both for A man isn’t and in my personal life, I noticed I enjoy being unrestrictive with people. It makes my writing better and solidifies relationships I have. And that leads to my sappy slogan in life: the only things that truly matter are people and art. Try me: I can place all essentials in those two notions.
Photo: Cecil Beaton, Self-portrait as King Cnut, circa 1915, London